It may somewhat sound ‘philosophical’ but when you reflect back upon the life you have lived; you realize how you yourself complicated everything in your life and then you feel~' I wish I had been a little more mature'. But what is more important than to just realize it, is to learn from it so that you can make your life more beautiful; for yourself and for the people around you.
Since childhood our Moral Science Books taught us to ‘Forgive & Forget’. We did learn that, but we only learnt it in pieces. When we seemingly ‘Forgave’ people; we failed to forget. And when we ‘Forgot’ their follies; we failed to forgive, only to leave us getting reminded of it over and over again.
Today when I look back, I see it in a completely different light. My first interpretation of the phrase, as a kid, was that we should forgive people just because everybody deserves chance to rectify his mistakes. Today I feel, it was never really about others.
Since past so many years, I kept regretting and fretting over my choices of friends because our friendship ended in a fight. Because of my anger, I built a wall around myself so that nobody could come close enough to hurt me. In the process, I mistakenly showed my back upon the people who really loved me, cared for me and were my true friends. I was so full of doubt that I never allowed myself to trust them. And what did I get? I lost precious time doubting people’s intention towards me when I should have been cherishing their friendship. I had so many well-wishers around but I felt ‘lonely’. And all this time, I kept blaming everything upon those friends who seemingly ‘broke my trust’. (*That is what human beings tend to do.. we always fail to look at our own mistakes, or, on a second thought, we are too egoistic to accept our mistakes)
But today I know who was ‘actually’ wrong. It was I. If I would have forgiven them and forgotten it all, my past 2 years would have been different. ‘To forgive’ was not difficult but ‘To forget’ certainly was. It would have taken time but certainly not as long as 2 precious years while I failed to value some beautiful friendships coz’ I chose to be full of doubts.
Now it sounds so silly that I used to miss having ‘true friends’ in my life while I was busy scaring them away myself. (What a strange brain did God give us.. hehe.. see, once again I am blaming someone else for my mistakes.)
I should also confess, that if my friends and I would have chosen to let go of our ‘ego’ and decided to ‘forgive and forget’, may be, we would have been able to save that friendship that brought us so much happiness for 4 long years and would have continued to do so.. only, if we allowed it to!
Somehow, everything boils down to ‘prioritization’! We tend to give a higher priority to our ‘Ego’ in comparison to ‘love & happiness’. Think about it. What was better ~
• A satisfied ego; a broken heart full of mistrust, hatred and regret; a self-made life of loneliness & an unsatisfied life. Or,
• A subdued ego; a happy and content heart with no negativity; Loads of friends around to love and care (including some old friends that you lost and some new ones that you made). In all, a satisfied life!
The choice is obvious now (Only if you let go of your ego)!
Today I so wish to have forgiven them or (even better) made up with them. I wish I had chosen love over hatred. I wish I had chosen to forget their mistakes instead of constantly wishing them to be punished. I wish I had chosen to value the 4 years of friendship over 4 hours of fight......!
I know I cannot ‘undo’ things, but today I forgive them for all the things that hurt me. I would be lying if I say that I forgot all the wrong that happened but I promise myself to forget it as soon as possible.. may be by reminding myself of the happy moments we had together. :) Hey, I feel good already!
I couldn’t have been more wrong when I said to myself that ‘Friends to aur ban jayenge.. vo bhi inse better’. Silly me! Friendship is precious! If God gave us friends, we need to learn to value them or else God sure knows how to ‘teach’ us to value them.
Hence, Forgive & Forget. (Trust me, it is not as difficult as it sounds) There is one life and it is definitely not for carrying the burden of hatred and regret. After all, friends are precious! (Realize it now, or you’ll realize it later) :)
‘There is no forgiveness without love; and, there is no love without forgiveness.’